Serious Case of the Lazies and the I Don't Want To's

Matter of fact, I almost didn't write this blog today...

I have a really bad case of the lazies and the I don't want to's, or more aptly, the I don't feel like it's. I don't know what is up with me. I am even procrastinating on my school work as well. I have been actively avoiding it. All I can think about is food and what I wish I was eating. I bought/ate some things that I know I shouldn't. Such as tortilla chips and cheese dip, ice cream sandwiches, sweet honey crackers, etc. Even though I am suffering with my dilapidated digestive tract, I still keep eating those things. I did get the ice cream sandwiches that were no sugar added and 97% fat free, so that's something at least. I read other people's blogs and read about successes on BuddySlim and think that I want to get back into it, yet I can't bring myself to get off the sofa. I think about how miserable I am dieting and how much I hate exercising and then I feel overwhelmed with it all. Especially the part where I don't see what I would call real results. I want awesome results, like losing 5+ pounds in a week. That would be great, but that doesn't happen. Unfortunately I am just not in that place where I am willing to do the work. I know that I have not put in 100% at any time while I was trying to lose weight. I am frustrated with myself for that and for not getting the results that I wanted, even though I didn't commit 100%. I know that logically doesn't make sense, but...well...I dunno. I guess I want to draw blood from a turnip and am getting upset when I can't. I just wish it was easier. I hate that it is so hard and makes me so unhappy to try to lose weight and also makes me unhappy to be fat. It makes no sense, I know. But that is how I feel.