Rediscovering Myself

The drawing I did last night. I like it. I might color it in and hang it up.

So, I found my old MP3 player from a few years ago. It has 157 songs on it. I put a new battery in it and turned it on. I LOVE these songs. And I felt renewed and energized listening to them. I let myself get sucked in by the music and dance to it...sing out loud and just feel the music. I love music. I had forgotten that. With life and all the distractions that come with it, I have totally lost parts of me. I had been feeling lost, like something was missing, for a long time now. I think I'm breaking the surface of what has been gone that I'm missing so much. For one thing, definitely music. I relate to the lyrics. I feel the artist's pain or happiness, or whatever feelings I get out of the music. Last night, when I was stressing out big time, and everything was getting on my nerves, I decided to take a time out and put on those headphones. I only listened to one song, but I listened to it twice. I felt so much better. I moved with the music. I punched the air, and I sang along. It was awesome. I felt revived. I put down the MP3 player and went back to what I was doing and no longer felt stressed. Later, once the kids were in bed, I ran a hot bath and added great smelling bath salts. I got in and submersed myself in the water. I then put on the those headphones and got lost in the music. Before I knew it, 45 minutes had passed. I got out of the bathtub feeling refreshed and inspired. I felt like drawing. I haven't done that in years! I used to draw a lot...mostly word art. Every now and I again I would get inspired to draw something else. I had forgotten that I like to do that. Music has opened my eyes and my mind again. I also remember how much I used to like changing up my hair and putting colors and texture in it and making it unique and awesome. I realized that I have had the exact same hair cut for over a year now. That never used to happen. I am going to try to get back to me and who I am. I have totally forgotten me, and now I'm beginning to remember again. I remember that I liked that person. That person was not overweight (well, a little, but not like now). That person didn't need to drown her sorrows and self pity with food. That person was happy. I've lost that. But I am going to get it back. I will have to make it fit into my new life, but I will get it back and be that happy person again.